Archive | December, 2012

Django Unchained (***)

29 Dec

I was surprised to learn after watching Quentin Tarantino’s latest love letter to genre film that Certain Media Outlets are describing it as controversial, disrespectful, and so on. The usual reason cited for this controversy is Tarantino’s use of the n-word, and while I realize that is a sensitive word not to be used lightly, I can hardly imagine a more appropriate place to use it than in a film full of racists, about an exceptional man who uses his skills to kill a bunch of white men to rescue his wife. Jamie Foxx has a perfect deadpan as he summarizes the movie as Django: “getting paid to kill white people; what’s not to like?”

I thought Django Unchained was an enjoyable exercise in genre: well-written and well-shot as usual, with a solid cast featuring Foxx, Christoph Waltz as his bounty hunter mentor, Kerry Washington as his wife, Don Johnson as a Klan leader seeking to take Django down, Leonardo DiCaprio as a slave master, and Samuel L. Jackson, who is both repellent and mesmerizing as DiCaprio’s head slave and advisor. The film is a solid Western mixed with the kind of 70s fare that starred Jim Brown, with a lively soundtrack featuring a new Ennio Morricone song, giving way to the likes of 2Pac and RZA.

That said, I came away from the film feeling a bit disappointed, because it feels like Tarantino could be making better use of his time rather than repeating himself with slightly goofy, genre revenge movies. After the much more subtle and nuanced Jackie Brown, that is all he has made: Kill Bill, Death Proof, Inglorious Basterds and now this. With his next announced project being a third instalment of Kill Bill, I’m guessing that more of the same is in store.

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Retrovirus

28 Dec

Jimmy Palmiotti, Justin Gray and artist Norberto Fernandez used Kickstarter to fund this short graphic novel about a scientist called Zoe who gets tricked into traveling to an arctic research facility where a giant drugs corporation has been developing a weaponized retrovirus to turn regular soldiers into berserkers. They need Zoe and her team to create an antidote. Needless to say, Things Go Horribly Wrong when the cloned neanderthal test subjects break out of their part of the facility and go pre-medieval on everything in sight.

I liked this book well enough; obviously it has some similarities to zombie movies and various other genres. Fernandez’ artwork is decent, though I did not care for the cheesecake moments with Zoe; Amanda Conner did the cover and I would have much preferred to see her do the entire book.

I did often find myself wondering why Retrovirus was a Kickstarter project, since it seemed like something that any number of mainstream publishers could have done, but I guess if nothing else the writers and artist will retain control of the book and its profits. I hope it works out well for them.

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The Hobbit: Episode I (**)

27 Dec

Peter Jackson and his WETA special effects company have kicked off the second act of their Tolkien adaptations with a film that is both triumphant and frustrating. This review refers to the 3D/48fps version of The Hobbit.

The triumph comes from the technical end. Watching this film at 48fps was disconcerting at first until the brain adjusts to the fine granularity of details that are made available at such a high frame rate. There are scenes where it is very distracting; but for the most part it enables WETA to do video compositing of real people with CGI so perfectly that the viewer is taken beyond the “uncanny valley” to a place where hundreds of goblins chasing a dozen dwarves is completely believable. The film should probably win a technical Oscar or two for this, and someone should devise a new one for the actors who have to perform against blue screens and react to something that they can only imagine.

The frustration comes from the script, and that can be laid at the feet of Jackson and the studio. One of the things I appreciated the most about Jackson’s adaptation of The Lord of the Rings is the fact that he cut and remixed elements of the books to make for a more exciting and engaging film. I am not a particular fan of The Lord of the Rings in book form. The Hobbit, on the other hand, has always struck me as a more compact, child-friendly distillation of what Tolkien had to say. I read it with my son, a chapter at a time, earlier this year. When it was announced that the film version would not be two instalments but rather three, my heart sank, because I knew that for the sake of making the studio some more money, Jackson would be doing the opposite operation with this book: expanding and inventing scenes to pad out the script.

And indeed, that is how the film feels: overstuffed and overlong, beginning with the completely unnecessary opening prologue through an unexpected meeting of the minds at Rivendell. Jackson inserts a couple of scenes with another wizard who has been tracking the Necromancer and then brings in Saruman to talk about it, clearly intending to create closer ties between this film and the others where none are needed. The excess is at its worst, unfortunately, in the many scenes where the dwarves are in peril, such as a battle between storm giants or being chased up a tree by wargs; the peril becomes so ridiculously overwrought that it seems impossible for any of them to survive, much less all of them. As a result, the well-choreographed action sequences of the LoTR films is replaced with awkward and frankly stupid set pieces that could have just as easily come from a Transformers film, or the last Indiana Jones picture. Even the Bilbo/Gollum riddling sequence felt long to me.

The cast is generally good, and they do what they can with the cards they have been dealt. Martin Freeman does well as Bilbo, Ian McKellen is his usual wry self as Gandalf. Standouts among the dwarves so far are Ken Stott as Balin, James Nesbitt as Bofur, and Richard Armitage as Thorin, who is clearly being groomed as the Aragorn of the piece.

Much like The Fellowship of the Ring, this first part of The Hobbit ends with the group embarking on the second stage of their journey. Unlike the other film, I am not very interested in following. As I joked with Nicole afterward, I feel like I have already seen the “Extended Edition” that should have come out afterward on DVD; if New Line really wants to boost home video sales, they should offer a Director’s Cut that contracts this thing by an hour.

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Twelve Days of Netflix 12: A Golden Christmas

24 Dec

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Netflix sent to me: A Golden Christmas, starring Andrea Roth and Nicholas Brendon as Jessica and Michael, who met as 9-year-olds one summer and fell in puppy love, only to part ways and not see each other before each marrying someone else, having a child, divorcing, and deciding to move back to that small town of their childhood. Jessica and Michael were introduced by a golden retriever who Michael followed into the woods to where Jessica was playing; Michael adopted the dog afterward. More importantly, they seem to have never told each other their names.

Jessica, who knows that her parents have wanted to sell the family home for some time, thinks it would be a good idea to surprise them at Christmas with the news that she is going to buy it and live there with her son. Unfortunately, they have already found a buyer in Michael, who is trying to sell his own house nearby and move in with his daughter and golden retriever. Jessica pleads with Michael to let her have the house, because it is so important to her suddenly as she remembers her idyllic childhood summer, but she does not go so far as to explain that her fond memory is of a boy she met and his golden retriever. If she did, it would have been a very quick movie.

Instead, Jessica schemes to cheat Michael out of the house one way or another, going so far as to thwart the sale of his own house to some interested buyers, which is quite a dick move. Meanwhile Michael is led by his dog to the old childhood meeting place in the woods where he and Jessica buried an old tin lunchbox as a time capsule. Both the lunchbox and the dog are remarkably well preserved considering that they should be at least 25 years old. When Jessica sees the lunchbox she puts two and two together, more or less, and tries to make it up to Michael.

The film slowly draws to a close on Christmas as Michael celebrates the sale of his house and reconciles with Jessica. The magic golden retriever has puppies and leaves them immediately in the care of Michael and Jessica’s children, running off into the woods like The Littlest Hobo, having finally accomplished her mission and left behind what can only be her magical do-gooding spawn. And indeed, there is a Golden Christmas 2 on Netflix, which apparently stars Jessica’s parents after they move to Florida, helping another estranged couple rediscover love through the healing properties of dogs.

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Twelve Days of Netflix 11: Dear Santa

23 Dec

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Netflix sent to me: Amy Acker in a film directed by Jason Priestley that has one wildly inappropriate moment after another. Dear Santa is the story of spoiled rich girl Crystal, who is threatened with being cut off by her parents if she does not find some direction in life. As she admires some new shoes in a shop window, a nearby mailman drops a child’s letter to Santa, which is carried on the wind by fate itself and smacks against the shop window.

Crystal reads the letter, a plea from a child called Olivia (Emma Duke), who misses her late mother and wants her dad Derek (David Haydn-Jones) to be happy again. Rather than do the sensible thing and drop the letter straight back in the mail, Crystal makes the first of many terrible, inappropriate decisions and drives to the child’s home. She then follows Derek to his workplace, a soup kitchen that is short of funds, and volunteers in order to get to know him. She quickly befriends the chef of the soup kitchen – a man so stereotypically gay that he wears pink chef’s whites – and confides in him. Again, rather than do the sensible thing and tell Crystal to leave Derek the hell alone, the chef gives her the lowdown on his boss.

There is an obstacle in Crystal’s way: Jillian, an old school girlfriend of Derek’s who intends to regain his affections and, as she puts it, get the ring on her finger. Derek doesn’t seem to be into her that much, but as he explains to Crystal in one of the most horrifying scenes, Olivia does need a mother, and his own happiness has to take a backseat. The rivalry between Crystal and Jillian leads to several cringeworthy conversations and conflicts, culminating in Jillian finding Olivia’s letter in Crystal’s purse and revealing the truth to Derek.

Everyone involved in Dear Santa deserves a lump of coal in their stockings. Even by the low standards of holiday movies, it’s pretty terrible.

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Twelve Days of Netflix 10: Christmas With a Capital C

22 Dec

On the tenth day of Christmas, Netflix sent to me: a surprisingly thoughtful film about the true meaning of Christianity, instead of the usual platitudes about the true meaning of Christmas. I was hesitant to watch this because it was made by a Christian film company, and my experience with Christian-backed films is that they tend to be more concerned about proselytizing than telling a story; but the script for Christmas With a Capital C is not about preaching to the converted.

Which is not to say it is not intended for a Christian audience; it clearly is. It is the tale of Dan, a prideful mayor (Ted McGinley) who resents the sudden intrusion of an old school rival (Daniel Baldwin) who returns to his small Alaskan town complaining about the presence of a nativity scene on the grounds of the town hall. This leads to some hard feelings, especially on the part of Dan’s brother, who has little patience for non-Christians in America.

Fortunately, the film gives equal time to Christians at different points on the spectrum, most notably a minister who observes at one point that the nativity scene shouldn’t be what is important; it’s just wood, and the mayor shouldn’t make an idol of it or of traditions. The mayor’s own wife says that maybe Christians should be less concerned about their rights – especially ones that don’t exist, like imposing one’s religion on a civic venue – and more concerned about doing good for others.

I have to say, I am so used to negative media portrayals of Christians, thanks to politicians and self-appointed representatives trying to further their own agenda in the name of Christ, that watching a film like this is a real breath of fresh air. I don’t necessarily agree with all of it, and there are some clunky moments, but I was pretty impressed with Christmas With a Capital C. I hope that a lot of Christians and their opponents take the time to watch and think about it.

An additional note worth mentioning: the film is inspired by and takes its name from a song by a Christian music act called Go Fish. The song is much more strident about the issue and could even be seen as a rallying cry for the “War on Christmas” people. The movie is NOT like the song, which unfortunately is played over the credits and is pretty terrible.

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Twelve Days of Netflix 9: Santa Baby 2 – Christmas Maybe

21 Dec

On the ninth day of Christmas, Netflix sent to me: the sequel to a movie I’ve never seen, starring Jenny McCarthy (!) as the daughter of Santa Claus (!!). Mary Class (pronounced Claus) is a high-powered businesswoman in New York as the film opens; her husband Luke (Dean McDermott) is a postal worker who breeds and trains sled dogs. On the verge of closing a big deal with Colin Nottingham (Kris Holden-Reid), Mary is called home to the North Pole shortly before Christmas because her father Chris (Paul Sorvino – !!!) has decided to retire.

Santa Claus has essentially abandoned his job, leaving it in the care of a production manager called Teri (Kelli Stables) who has a hidden agenda. Mary tries to run the place at first, but the elves take their cues from Teri, at one point organizing and striking for better “wages”, which amounts to cookies with sprinkles on both sides instead of one. Concerned that her business deal is in jeapordy, Mary washes her hands of it and leaves Luke at the North Pole with his dogs. Meanwhile, the conniving Teri moves to not only usurp Santa’s job, but to tempt Luke; which isn’t hard, because he’s not very bright.

In the end, of course, the status quo is restored and nepotism triumphs over Germanic efficiency. Which, I suppose, is the story of Christmas in a nutshell.

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Twelve Days of Netflix 8: Christmas Town

20 Dec

On the eighth day of Christmas, Netflix sent to me: “a very special Christmas episode of The Twilight Zone,” which is how Liza McCann (Nicole DeBoer) describes it when she is called out of the blue to visit her estranged father in the small town of Hollyville. She brings her young son Mason, who is excited to see his grandfather and to spend time in a place that not only appears to be crazy about Christmas, but may be the base of operations for Santa Claus himself.

While Mason runs around spying on elves and the local mechanic fixing a certain sleigh, Liza tries to figure out what has happened to her type-A father who used to think that Christmas was a waste of time. The owner of the local diner where her father works, Kevin (Patrick Muldoon), tries to explain the local perspective.

This movie is like watching a holiday episode of Gilmore Girls from a parallel universe, where Rory is a largely unsupervised boy. It spends a lot of time and energy explaining how Santa’s workshop could really work in logistical terms in the modern age; as the snooping Mason discovers, it is a rather depressing Ikea-like warehouse with painted concrete hallways and a locker room where Santa gets changed. It’s an odd choice for a film that is about a parent rediscovering the magic of Christmas.

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Twelve Days of Netflix 7: Snow Globe

19 Dec

On the seventh day of Christmas, Netflix sent to me: another ABC Family Christmas movie starring Christina Milian. Needless to say, after the trauma of Christmas Cupid I was reluctant to press play on this one. This time she plays Angie, a streetwise New York deli clerk whose family doesn’t respect her space; you can tell she’s from New York by her Ratzo Rizzo accent.

Her family’s lack of boundaries are impressive, and catalogued in the span of a few minutes of film time: her parents own the building she lives in; they barge in to her apartment all the time to watch TV or make family dinners; her pregnant sister wants to trade apartments; and her parents have screened tenants so that a creepy new guy is her neighbour. Creepy neighbour (who also played a creepy forensics guy on Dexter this season) is opening a new bar when Angie’s parents aren’t inviting him to dinner.

Understandably annoyed, Angie is in the mood to escape her family; she gets her wish when a mysterious package containing a snow globe arrives. It’s a magical snow globe that, when shaken, transports her to the idyllic little town inside. Assuming she is dreaming, she plays along and introduces herself to the innocent village folk, then returns to her real life; only to return the following night, and again, and again so often that her family starts to complain about never seeing her. For her part, Angie adjusts to being magically transported to Pleasantville: Christmas Edition surprisingly quickly.

At least, she does until a guy from the snow globe follows her into New York and hijinks ensue. Compared to the last thing I saw Milian in, Snow Globe is an adequate holiday movie about a young woman who needs an escape, only to wind up in pretty much the position her parents wanted her in. If there are any feminist media studies academics out there looking for thesis topics, you might want to start here.

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Twelve Days of Netflix 6: Desperately Seeking Santa

18 Dec

On the sixth day of Christmas, Netflix gave to me: an unlikely tale about ambitious mall manager Jennifer (Laura VanDeVoort), who hires a hot guy from the neighbourhood to dance and show his abs before sitting down to hear the kids’ wish lists; a little eye candy for the moms, as it were. The winning candidate, David (Nick Zano), wants to use his winnings to fund the legal appeal for his family’s business, a local pizzaria threatened with closure so that a new office tower can be built.

So, it’s basically The Shop Around The Corner with a six-pack, but it works. VanDeVoort is convincing as the woman who chooses her surrogate mall family over the Big Promotion. Zano is well-cast as the family-first good guy. Jennifer’s boss is ridiculously demanding, like he came from a production of Glengarry Glen Ross, at one point telling Jennifer that not only does she need to improve sales of her South Boston mall, she has to make sure that her mall’s sales are the best of the chain if she wants the promotion.

Think of that for a second: the sales of a mall in South Boston outperforming those in the affluent, easier to access suburbs? And then, when she somehow pulls off that impressive feat, what does her boss do? Tell her he’s closing the mall. Fortunately she turns the tables and finds a way to blackmail him into leaving Southie alone, allowing David to use his winnings for medical school instead. I suppose I should feel indignant as a feminist for her sacrificing her career for her new boyfriend’s needs (even if he will be a doctor with a six-pack); but considering what a dick her boss is, I guess it’s not much of a sacrifice. With sales results like hers, she should be able to land on her feet.

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